For All Men To Get DeGree In Marriage

For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating
marriage under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for
marriage…

TWO YEAR DEGREE COURSE

A new two-year degree is being offered at the University that many of
you should be interested in:

Becoming a Real Man. That’s right, in just six mini-semesters, you, too,
can be a real man as well as earn a MA degree. (Male Arts)

Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR

Autumn Schedule:

MEN 101: Combating Stupidity

MEN 102: You, Too, Can Do Housework

MEN 103: PMS-Learn To Keep Your Mouth Shut

MEN 104: We Do Not Want Sleazy Under things for Christmas

Winter Schedule:

MEN 110: Wonderful Laundry Techniques

MEN 111: Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 4am

MEN 112: Parenting: It Doesn’t End with Conception

EAT 100: Get a Life, Learn to Cook

EAT 101: Get a Life, Learn to Cook II

ECON 001A: What’s Hers is Hers

Spring Schedule:

MEN 120: How NOT to Act like a Butt Face when you’re Wrong

MEN 121: Understanding Your Incompetence

MEN 122: YOU, The Weaker Sex

MEN 123: Reasons to Give Flowers

ECON 001C: What Was Yours is Hers

SECOND YEAR

Autumn Schedule:

SEX 101: You CAN Fall Asleep without It

SEX 102: Morning Dilemma: If It’s Awake, Take a Shower

SEX 103: How to Stay Awake After Sex

MEN 201: How To Put the Toilet Seat Down

(Elective)

(See Electives Below)

Winter Schedule:

MEN 210: The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

MEN 211: How to Not Act Younger than Your Children

MEN 212: You, Too, Can be a Designated Driver

MEN 213: Honest, You Don’t Look Like Brad Pitt

MEN 230A: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are Important

Spring Schedule:

MEN 220: Omitting %&*!@ from Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)

MEN 221: Fluffing the Blanket after Farting Is NOT Necessary

MEN 222: Real Men Ask For Directions

MEN 223: Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay

MEN 230B: Her Birthdays and Anniversaries are Important II

Course Electives:

EAT 102: Cooking with Tofu

EAT 103: Utilization of Eating Utensils

EAT 103: Burping and Belching Discreetly

MEN 231: Mothers-In-Law

MEN 232: Appear to Be Listening

MEN 233: Just Say “Yes, Dear”

ECON 001C: Cheaper to Keep Her

A4 Paper Cut

My paper works has lately been based around an exploration of the
relationship between two and three dimensionality. I find this
materialization of a flat piece of paper into a 3D form almost as a
magic process – or maybe one could call it obvious magic, because the
process is obvious and the figures still stick to their origin, without
the possibility of escaping. In that sense there is as well an aspect of
something tragic in most of the cuts. Some of the small paper cuts
relates to a universe of fairy tales and romanticism, as for instance
“/Impenetrable Castle/” inspired by Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale
“/The Steadfast Tin Soldier”,/ in which a tin soldier falls in love with
a paper ballerina, living in a paper castle. Other paper cuts are small
dramas in which small figures are lost within and threatened by the huge
powerful nature. Others again are turning the inside out, or letting the
front and the back of the paper meet – dealing with impossibility,
illusions, and reflections.

I find the A4 sheet of paper interesting to work with, because it
probably still is the most common and consumed media and format for
carrying information today, and in that sense it is something very
loaded. This means that we rarely notice the actual materiality of the
A4 paper. By removing all the information and starting from scratch
using the blank white 80gms A4 paper as basic for my creations, I feel
that I have found a material which, on one hand, we all are able to
relate to, and which on the other hand is non-loaded and neutral and
therefore easier to fill with different meanings. The thin white paper
gives at the same time the paper sculptures a fragility which underlines
the tragic and romantic theme of the works.

Did You Know

*
*Ants don’t sleep.*
*
*Owls have eyeballs that are tubular in shape, because of this,
they cannot move their eyes. *
*
*A bird requires more food in proportion to its size than a baby
or a cat.*
*
*The mouse is the most common mammal in the US.*
*
*A newborn kangaroo is about 1 inch in length. *
*
*A cow gives nearly 200,000 glasses of milk in her lifetime. *
*
*The Canary Islands were not named for a bird called a canary.
They were named after a breed of large dogs. The Latin name was
Canariae insulae – “Island of Dogs.” *
*
*There are 701 types of pure breed dogs.*
*
*A polecat is not a cat. It is a nocturnal European weasel. *
*
*Tapeworms range in size from about 0.04 inch to more than 50 feet
in length.*
*
*A baby bat is called a pup.*
*
*German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog. *
*
*A female mackerel lays about 500,000 eggs at one time. *
*
*It takes 35 to 65 minks to produce the average mink coat. The
numbers for other types of fur coats are: beaver – 15; fox – 15 to
25; ermine – 150; chinchilla – 60 to 100.*
*
*The animal responsible for the most human deaths world-wide is
the mosquito. *
*
*The biggest pig in recorded history was Big Boy of Black
Mountain, North Carolina, who was weighed at 1,904 pounds in 1939. *
*
*Cats respond most readily to names that end in an “ee” sound.*
*
* A cat cannot see directly under its nose. This is why the cat
cannot seem to find tidbits on the floor.*
*
*Pigs, walruses and light-colored horses can be sunburned. *
*
*Snakes are immune to their own poison.*
*
*An iguana can stay under water for 28 minutes. *
*
*Cats have more than one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only
have about ten. *
*
*The biggest member of the cat family is the male lion, which
weighs 528 pounds (240 kilograms).*
*
*Most lipstick contains fish scales. *
*
*Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have
over a million descendants. *
*
*Each day in the US, animal shelters are forced to destroy 30,000
dogs and cats. *
*
*A shrimp’s heart is in their head. *
*
*A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.*
*
*A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it
starves to death.*
*
*The cat lover is an ailurophile, while a cat hater is an
ailurophobe. *
*
*A woodpecker can peck twenty times a second.*
*
*It may take longer than two days for a chick to break out of its
shell. *
*
*Dragonflies are one of the fastest insects, flying 50 to 60 mph. *
*
*Despite man’s fear and hatred of the wolf, it has not ever been
proved that a non-rabid wolf ever attacked a human.*
*
*There are more than 100 million dogs and cats in the United States. *
*
*Americans spend more than 5.4 billion dollars on their pets each
year.*
*
*Cat’s urine glows under a black light. *
*
*The largest cockroach on record is one measured at 3.81 inches in
length. *
*
*It is estimated that a single toad may catch and eat as many as
10,000 insects in the course of a summer.*
*
*Amphibians eyes come in a variety shapes and sizes. Some even
have square or heart-shaped pupils. *
*
*It would require an average of 18 hummingbirds to weigh in at 1
ounce. *
*
*Dogs that do not tolerate small children well are the St.
Bernard, the Old English sheep dog, the Alaskan malamute, the bull
terrier, and the toy poodle.*
*
*Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of earth in a day. *
*
*Howler monkeys are the noisiest land animals. Their calls can be
heard over 2 miles away. *
*
*A quarter of the horses in the US died of a vast virus epidemic
in 1872.*
*
*The fastest bird is the Spine-tailed swift, clocked at speeds of
up to 220 miles per hour.
There is no single cat called the panther. The name is commonly
applied to the leopard, but it is also used to refer to the puma
and the jaguar. A black panther is really a black leopard. A capon
is a castrated rooster. *
*
*The world’s largest rodent is the Capybara. An Amazon water hog
that looks like a guinea pig, it can weigh more than 100 pounds. *
*
*The poison-arrow frog has enough poison to kill about 2,200 people.*
*
*The hummingbird, the loon, the swift, the kingfisher, and the
grebe are all birds that cannot walk.*
*
*The poisonous copperhead snake smells like fresh cut cucumbers. *
*
*A chameleon’s tongue is twice the length of its body. *
*
*Worker ants may live seven years and the queen may live as long
as 15 years.*
*
*The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and
the blood of lobsters is blue.*
*
*Cheetahs make a chirping sound that is much like a bird’s chirp
or a dog’s yelp. The sound is so an intense, it can be heard a
mile away. *
*
*The underside of a horse’s hoof is called a frog. The frog peels
off several times a year with new growth. *
*
*The bloodhound is the only animal whose evidence is admissible in
an American court. 98% of brown bears in the United States are in
Alaska.*
*
*Before air conditioning was invented, white cotton slipcovers
were put on furniture to keep the air cool.*
*
* The Barbie doll has more than 80 careers.*
*
*To make one pound of whole milk cheese, 10 pounds of whole milk
is needed.*
*
*99% of pumpkins that are sold for decoration. *
*
*Every 30 seconds a house fire doubles in size.*
*
*The month of December is the most popular month for weddings in
the Philippines.*
*
*A one ounce milk chocolate bar has 6 mg of caffeine.*
*
*Carbon monoxide can kill a person in less than 15 minutes.*
*
*The largest ever hailstone weighed over 1kg and fell in
Bangladesh in 1986.*
*
*Ants can live up to 16 years.*
*
*In Belgium, there is a museum that is just for strawberries.*
*
*The sense of smell of an ant is just as good as a dog’s.*
*
*Popped popcorn should be stored in the freezer or refrigerator as
this way it can stay crunchy for up to three weeks.*
*
*Coca-Cola was originally green.*
*
*The most common name in the world is Mohammed.*
*
*The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they
start
with.*
*
*The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.*
*
*TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters
only on
one row ! of the keyboard.*
*
*Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!*
*
*You can’t kill yourself by holding your breath.*
*
*It is impossible to lick your elbow.*
*
*People say “Bless you” when you sneeze because when you sneeze,
your heart
stops for a millisecond.*
*
*It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.*
*
*The “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the
toughest
tongue twister in the English language.*
*
*If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to
suppress a
sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.*
*
*Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from
history.
Spades – King David
Clubs – Alexander the Great,
Hearts – Charlemagne
Diamonds – Julius Caesar.
*
*
*111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321*
*
*If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front
legs in the
air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in
the air,
the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the
horse has
all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.*
*
*What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser
printers all have in common?
Ans. – All invented by women.
Question – This is the only food that doesn’t spoil. What is this?
Ans. – HoneY.
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
A snail can sleep for three years.
All polar bears are left handed.*
*
*American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive
from each
salad served in first-class.
*
*
*Butterflies taste with their feet.*
*
*Elephants are the only animals that can’t jump.*
*
*In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.*
*
*On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.*
*
*Shakespeare invented the word ‘assassination’ and ‘bump’.*
*
*Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.*
*
*The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.*
*
*The electric chair was invented by a dentist.*
*
*The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the
body to
squirt blood 30 feet.*
*
*Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in
your ear
by 700 times.*
*
*The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.*
*
*Most lipstick contains fish scales.*
*
*Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different*

Ariel Really Does Wash The Shit Out Of Your Shirt

Building Carved In Mountain Rocks

Funny Images

Funny Pics

Mind Blowing Cars

A few ‘nice’ cars

Be A Winner

How to become a winner

Human Digits

Human Digits