You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were
dead.

A young son asked, “Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn’t know his wife until
he marries her?”
Dad replied, “That happens in every country, son.”

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at
all.

First guy says, “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy remarks, “You’re lucky,
mine’s still alive.”

“A Woman’s Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for:
Wisdom, to understand a man,
to Love and to forgive him,
and for patience, for his moods,
because Lord, if I pray for Strength
I’ll just beat him to death.”

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus arrives, they find it over loaded and only the wife and the
nine kids are able to fit
onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a
while, the husband gets
irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on
the sidewalk, and says to
him,
“Why don’t you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That
ticking sound is driving me
crazy.”
The blind man replies,
“If you would’ve put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we’d be riding
the bus … so shut the hell
up.”